Mind Speak is Moving

I apologize for the lack of activity lately on Mind Speak. It's because I'm working on something new - moving Mind Speak to a new home. I've been wanting to do this for a while now but never around to it because I couldn't decide which site to use. It was like another symptom of my indecisiveness-syndrome. There may be a reason for the difficulty of my choice though - it wasn't feasible to combine a photoblog and a writing blog together and as it turns out, the layouts/sites I was looking at also couldn't provide both functions for me at its optimal level. Hence, I have decided to move my photoblog to Wordpress and my collection of random thoughts to Tumblr. They are set up but still in beginning stages - I have a lot of photos and posts to move. I will be doing that while I'm in Quebec!

For the next 5 weeks, I'll be staying with a host family in Riviere-du-Loup taking French classes from Monday to Friday. I've been looking forward to this "explore" program since I've heard so many good things about it and it's always been a goal of mine to learn French. I have brought my DSLR and guitar with me so I'm expecting to be doing a lot of picture taking and guitar practicing.

The kind of freedom I feel right now is, to say the least, exhilarating. :)

Please remember to visit my new blogs! Links are above. For those who have followed my blog, I give you my thanks. I hope you will continue following me on my journey!

I am Lost In Translation

Bob and Charlotte having a fun night out in Tokyo, from Lost in Translation

Quotes from IMDB:

Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.
Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Charlotte: I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre. I guess every girl goes through a photography phase. You know, horses... taking pictures of your feet.

It's another one of those nights. I feel all uneasy and stressed out and just feeling like something is not right. I know I'm probably overreacting right now, feeling lost and confused after graduation.

This whole day I have talked to so many people about the little things I'm stressing about to the bigger things that I'm worried about. I probably told the buying-sunscreen-for-25mins-story too many times today (sorry for being kinda annoying!) - but it was that incident that made me say to myself: "what the hell is wrong with me". Maybe it's the buildup of so many things I have to do and the fact that I am embarking a new chapter in my life. If any of you have seen Lost in Translation (2003) you'll know what I mean. Scarlett Johansson is kind of going through a similar phase in the movie where she doesn't know who she is or what she really wants to do. I guess I am sort of trying to figure that out too. But at this moment, after many conversations (I truly thank all of you who listened and gave me wise words!), I have concluded that what is wrong is that I just stress/worry too much. So take a step back and chill out. I know I'm not alone in feeling kinda unsure about what to do and what's to come, but I know whatever I do, it will turn out to be okay. Instead of worrying pointlessly, I should be enjoying the process instead. As corny as it sounds, but yes, que sera sera.

And that is exactly what I will do. :)

Late Learning

I think this is what every class should be like: the professor and students all actively engaged in a conversation discussing various view-points of a topic. The learning environment is so much more conductive and enjoyable. It actually makes me very excited and eager to listen and participate and learn. :) Those rusty brain cells of mine start to churn and process and absorb.

Today we discussed the importance of developing a long-term relationship between buyers and suppliers. The key component to that relationship is open communication/sharing and trust - if this sounds kind of like a relationship between two people, don't be alarmed, a business relationship or any kind of relationship is exactly that - it needs those ingredients. Everything in world is interconnected in one way or another.

Have you heard about this before? We were talking about "Game Theory" and we discussed about The Prisoner's Dilemma. What this model illustrates is how trust can determine the outcome of a situation. Consider the following situation: there are 2 prisoners (e.g. thieves who tend to trust no one) and 4 possible outcomes. If the 2 prisoners both rat each other out, they both get 5 years jail time. If only one of them rats out, then one walks free and the other gets 10 years. If, however, they both trust each other and not rat each other out, they both get only 1 year each. Evidently, this demonstrates that most benefits are reaped when there is trust. This model is related to the Nash Equilibrium, which is devised from John Nash, the mathematician in "A Beautiful Mind". This model is applicable to a lot of things - in economics, social science, politics, and many more. Interestingly, psychology contributes a lot to game theory - which again demonstrates that everything when broken down to its elements, relates back to fundamental relations between entities.

I sound like a total nerd right now. But ah, knowledge fascinates me. :)

La vie d'une étudiante: Tu me manques bientôt

Dans environ 4 semaines, je vais graduer de cette université où j'ai passé 4 années de la vie. Je me rappelle pendant mon premier année quand j'étais une étudiante inexpérimenté, beaucoup de choses étaient nouveaux. Il est difficile de croire que je serai indépendant. Pourtant, je suis enthousiaste de l'avenir. Cet été, j'irai aux nombreaux lieux dans le monde. C'est un occasion que j'ai voulu depuis longtemps.

Les jours de liberté vont me laisser bientôt. Beaucoup de gens ont me dit avant que les années d'université sont les meillures années de la vie. Mais, j'espère que les années prochaine seront mieux.

Starbucks sur la rue de Bloor

Fill me with Positivity

The start of anyone's day can be affected by so many things. It could be as simple as how rushed you are, if you eat breakfast, if catch your bus on time, the bus driver's friendly nod, and oh yes, the weather. Whenever I take the really early go bus (I go on the 6:50am bus on Wednesdays), I always catch the sunrise while I'm on the highway. The feeling of seeing the sun rising, the morning rush hour traffic representing people hustling and bustling another day, and the music I listen to is the perfect recipe for me to think about things and life. Those alone times I get on the bus are actually quite enjoyable--it's a time for me to just wind-down and have some space to myself (even though I'm surrounded by strangers). I think most of you would agree that it's really important to have this alone time to yourself. Imagine if you never had the chance to just stop and reflect - I think a lot of us would be living life quite blindly and aimlessly.

And you know what just makes my day sometimes? The waitress at Timothy's/Tuchners that just can't seem to contain her positivity and cheerfulness. She honestly could make anyone smile, even if they are having a bad day. We definitely need people like that around more! :)

Stickers on my bedroom window

This was my birthday cake - green tea mousse :)

I think this is what Mind Speak is about

Here's a string of random thoughts on an early Wednesday morning:

One of the things we regret the most are the things we never say.

In our lifetime, we only really connect with a handful of people even though there are billions of people in this world. That's why you should always cherish every single meaningful connection you make.

People's character never change. The only thing that really changes is their lifestyle and maybe their attitude. I usually call these changes "phases".

Is anything definite? What we can't be sure of we can only trust and believe.

We are the main characters in our life. Everyone else is your supporting actors and actresses.

Do feelings follow actions or do actions follow feelings? I think this was discussed before in my psychology class but I forget what the theory was...

I believe in change--for the better. Those who stay stationary fall behind because the world is always changing.

That's all for now. It's time for class!

Below are pictures I took from "Rock the Runway" Charity Fashion Show put together by the students at Woodsworth College. The benefiting charity is War Child Canada.

Transition

I feel like blogging today...because I tend to think more when I am a little sad.

There are certain things I want to do when I'm young - like travelling around the world, sky-diving, going on a hot-air balloon, being in a film premier, going to art shows, and many things of the sort. Then I wonder, what if I never get the chance to do these things? What if I'm only able to do these things when I'm too old to have the same enjoyment? This is definitely nothing new but that thought of not being able to accomplish these things suddenly made me feel really afraid of growing old. I don't ever want to grow old. The older I grow, the less time I have to achieve these things. The realization that I may not do everything I want in life is daunting, although it is a blatantly obvious fact. My religious friends may look beyond what we do in our life time and strive for life in eternity - a practice I fully respect, although I do not comprehend entirely. On the other extreme are those that live in the moment and make the most out of present life - a perspective that I relate to more but not to its full extent. What I seem to strive for is something in between: I want to make the most out of my life right now but I am also interested in finding something beyond that - things that will answer the bigger questions like our purpose (as corny as it sounds).

It's the fourth year syndrome - I seem to be thinking more and more about this stuff as graduation inches closer. The future is full of excitement, challenges and new things. This summer will be the first expedition in this new chapter in my life.

Photoblog update: I meant to have moved this blog to a new host during reading week, but didn't get around to doing that. I am in the process of determining if I should go with wordpress or tumblr! Please stay tuned!

A New Avenue

Writing is a liberating feeling. Although it does take some time to gather my thoughts and put them into words, I really enjoy the process and the being able to share these thoughts is almost therapeutic.

I heard/read somewhere that people nowadays are so eager to expose themselves on the internet via many social media channels such as blogs, twitter, facebook, youtube, flickr, and various others, that they are willing to divulge almost anything about their life on it. Are we now in a age where we can never get enough attention? Do we really need the world to know what we did last Friday with our friends with 100+ photos to prove it? Do we need minute by minute

updates of where you are at? What is it that we are all seeking? I cannot answer you right now as I only have a bit of the answer and still trying to find out the rest. I am in midst of this frenzy, although I consider myself a mild form, I too, likely, have the same desires as all those people out there. This is not meant to conclude on anything but rather, I am throwing things out there for you to think about.

Hence, I have decided to start a new blog - one that is dedicated to something just like this entry - to writing and expressing my random thoughts. Will you, dear reader, return the attention that I am seeking? :) Stay tuned.

Photoblog update: I am very sad that I haven't had time to take pictures. Instead, I have been taking some event photos, and the above is one of them. I absolutely intend to keep Mind Speak alive, but please be patient with me as I try my best to keep up with school work and everything else. Thanks for following me - it really makes me smile. :)

Open Book

January 8, 2010

I have never really written a blog post before – but somehow I have the urge to write one now. It does not go with my vow to keep this strictly a photoblog, so I hope this sudden post does not throw you off.

As a new year begins, I always reflect on the year, even more so than I already about my life and what I have done and the things I have learned. I have been having a lot of thoughts lately, so much that thinking is an activity or an event to me. I stop to ask myself what I want to do and why am I doing what I am doing. Is the path I have chosen the right one for me; I wonder about my future; I think about what I need to change about myself. Sometimes there is so much on my mind that I cannot even organize them into logical, rational thoughts. It doesn’t just stop there—I also think about various things in this world—from the society, to arts and culture, to human relations, to science and religion, to politics and trends, even to the beauty of language and travels; there are so many things that I want to know about and experience!

Why am I writing this

Clearly, I need to organize all my thoughts. I have realized that when things are not written, they are easily forgotten; at least in my case. And like a broken telephone, my original thoughts would be altered and faded if I don’t flesh it out. I want to document this and even if I sound silly because it’s all a part of my growing up. A tangible record of my reflections would allow me to follow through what I tell myself I should do, or at least it is an attempt to. I do forewarn you of long, repetitive ramblings and my constant foolish theories about things.

An innate inquisitiveness

Someone once told me that I’m one of the most self-reflective people he has ever met. It came as a surprise to me because I have never thought of myself that way, until it was pointed out. As I talk to different people and I asked them about this, they too seem to agree with the idea. Come to think of it, I am a very curious person—I always want to know about things and learn about things. As a child, I probably asked a lot of “why” and “how” questions. As I am sure many people share this characteristic; there are so many wonderful things in this world to know about and experience! Just last night, I talked to my friends about how vast the universe is and how incredible organisms are. Just think that the Milky Way galaxy is just one of the millions of galaxies out there is already make me awe of the creation of this existence. At the same time, this existence can be as small as an atom or a molecule. I can go on for a while about this, but that is just one of the many examples of what a chatterbox I can become on almost any topic.

What intrigues me

A lot of my thoughts are provoked by the films I see, sometimes the lyrics to a song, the books I read, general everyday activities, but most significantly, it is through the conversations I have with people. One of the most intriguing things I find are the connections that people make with each other and how much is gained through talking to that person and conversing intellectually, a heart-to-heart with substance. Whenever I talk to someone I really treasure that because I know I am always learning something new and I am sincerely really happy to talk to people. Of course, not every conversation will turn out like that but it is generally a very delightful and pleasant experience. I love coffee shops—I can sit there and read a book, look out the window at the passing strangers on the streets, look at people in the shop and observe their body language and what they are doing, and of course having a chat with someone over coffee is always great.

Recently I watched two relatively older films: Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), both of which are movies I really enjoyed, merely for the conversation that took place. Actually, the basis of both films is just a conversation between two people. It definitely is not a typical love story but a rather a true, honest analysis of love and life and people’s behaviour and how our ideals contrast with reality.

Here are a few quotes from Before Sunrise:

“You know what drives me crazy? It's all these people talking about how great technology is, and how it saves all this time. But, what good is saved time, if nobody uses it? If it just turns into more busy work. You never hear somebody say, "With the time I've saved by using my word processor, I'm gonna go to a Zen monastery and hang out". I mean, you never hear that.” –Jesse

“I kind of see this all love as this, escape for two people who don't know how to be alone. People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, there's nothing more selfish” –Jesse

“I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?” –Celine

And here are a few quotes from Before Sunset:

“I guess when you're young, you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.” –Celine

“You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.” –Celine

“There are so many things I want to do, but I end up doing not much” –Celine

[about his marriage] “I feel like I'm running a small nursery with someone I used to date” –Jesse

“They enjoy the goal but not the process. But the reality of it is that the true work of improving things is in the little achievements of the day.” –Celine

These are two brilliant films and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in a truly stimulating conversation about people and life and everything in between.

High on life

I like a lot of things. I am grateful for what I have and what I have been able to experience. I also know there are many other things I want to experience and learn. By finding out what they are, it will be a way to guide me through how I want to live my life. I admire talent and I wish to be talented myself. It feels really good to be good and passionate at something because I would get so much joy from doing it! Even though I have taken on many hobbies, I really enjoy every single one of them and am determined to pursue them. Photography, in particular, is special to me. As it has been said many times before by many people so this may sound lame, but it really is the ability to capture a moment—everything in that moment—that makes it so fascinating. It could be a smile, a window corner, a face in a crowd, the stillness of a room, the look in someone’s eyes, and anything that you can think of. My goal is to be able to capture the feeling of that moment in the picture so that anyone could abstract such feelings just by looking at the photograph. Ultimately, what I enjoy is looking at beautiful things—not necessary pretty, but anything created with love and thought is beautiful. But of course, I also like pretty things! Design is also an important part of my life—interior design, fashion, and even packaging all really interest me. Music is another very important aspect. Listening to music and playing music can be really mesmerizing in that so much emotion can go into it and be evoked. When I feel sad, listening to music can literally make me feel better. When I read books, I get lost in a trance. And when I think, I start to day dream…

Goals for a direction

Goals should be written and I am going to start it this year. It may just be a placebo effect that having it written down will make it more achievable, but either way, with my poor memory, writing it down is probably a good thing!

Personal

-continue to pursue my hobbies

-bring positivity into my and others’ lives

-travel

-be open minded

-try something new

-be more patient

-be a good listener

-keep in touch with friend

-meet new people and learn something about them

-find out what is important to me

Academic/Career

-develop discipline

-keep up to date with knowledge

-prioritize and balance

-explore (outside the box)

-do not be afraid to voice my opinions

Mental dump…

This perhaps only covers a tiny part of all the random thoughts I have. The fact that I decided to even write anything down is taking the first step for me. Every time I have a revelation, I would always be on a mental dump stage. Maybe next time I will post it here right away. I don’t know if I even brought across a point in what I wrote—these are simply my random thoughts. Random as they may be, their importance is not anything less than the homework I have to do. Hence, I wrote over 1500 words to document my ramblings. If you are still reading this, thank you for bearing with me—there will be another 1500 words another day!